The Artist's Dilemma

I've been put in the awkward position I'm sure most artists have gone through. A relative has asked me to paint a piece to put in their home. The usual questions are asked: What would you like? Certain colors important? What sort of style? Size? Placement?

The initial answers to all of the above were a resounding "I dunno. Surprise me."

Sigh.

We did eventually narrow it down to an Asian subject in a European style, inspired by the client flipping through an art history book of mine and seeing Delacroix's Algerian Women in their Apartments (detail below)


I've already gathered research materials, various pose sketches, etc. but still have the nagging thought in the back of my head: "I don't really want to do this." Making something specifically to put up on a wall has always been dreadful for me. The need for it to become a "pretty," finished piece.

To illustrate, just recently my sister came into my room and noticed one of my larger canvas. She promptly yelled, "Oh my god, what is that?!" It was a non-traditional self-portrait in which I was exploring a non-traditional muse of mine, the embodiment of Envy. Needless to say, he's not something you'd want to show guests. I like him very much.

That sort of expectation puts me off of being any sort of professional artist. I'd much rather be left to my own devices, having a chat with my canvas or questioning the validity of my pen's remarks. But unfortunately, I'm aware the world doesn't work that way. I will paint my client's wishes for a tiny profit and she will tell her friends. They, in turn, might ask me to do the same. And so on and so forth.

And hopefully, if I'm lucky, I'll have enough to get by so I can continue doing what I love. Such is life.